


After

by Lavenderaesthetic



Category: IT - (2017), IT - (2019), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Afterlife AU, I Am Sorry, I might rewrite it, This Is Sad, but it really didnt, but it’s also not sad, it needed to be done, the clubhouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 11:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavenderaesthetic/pseuds/Lavenderaesthetic
Summary: Stan has stopped laughing. He was looking at Ben and Beverly with the same bittersweet expression. He met Eddie’s gaze, and Eddie smiled knowingly at him. Stanley smiles back, and they stared at each other for a long moment before they both huff out a laugh. Stan shakes his head, his curls bouncing on his forehead. He tucks them behind his ear, looking at Ben and Beverly again, and Eddie knew they were thinking the same thing. He knew they were wishing for the same thing.They were wishing for the waiting to be over.Which is a horrible thing to wish for, in these circumstances.But they couldn’t help it.





	After

**Author's Note:**

> I was minding my own business making a cute au but then my friend complained that there weren’t enough fics about reddie in the afterlife so
> 
> My tumblr is lavenderaesthetic13

  
Eddie sits on the bench in Bassey Park, his legs swinging back and forth, making the wood creak underneath him. He feels a warm breeze blow through his hair, on his face, and it carries the same feeling it always did. The feeling of summer.    
He closes his eyes for a moment, breathing in the sickly sweet summer air. The scent of fresh flowers, barbecuing meat, and popcorn filling his senses. The familiar smell is comforting.    
If he listens, _really listens_, he can hear the sound of children laughing and playing in the summer sun. It’s all around him, and it’s just as he remembers. _That_ summer.    
It was always summer here. It was always _that_ summer. The best summer of their lives, and the worst.    
He opens his eyes when he hears the sudden boom of laughter from Stan, Beverly, Ben, and Mike. The four of them were playing pennies, just like they always used to. And Beverly has been winning, just like she always used to. However, it seemed that Mike had just beat Beverly at her own game. He was tossing the pennies in the air, showering himself, while Beverly and Stan roar with laughter. Ben looks red in the face, and Eddie wouldn’t know that it was because Ben had given her a good luck kiss, and he was so embarrassed when that kiss had had the opposite effect.    
Beverly looks over at him, still laughing. She kisses him on the cheek, and mumbles something. Eddie guesses it was something along the lines of ‘it’s ok’ or ‘don’t worry about it’. Ben’s face somehow gets even redder, and Beverly takes his hand, squeezing it.    
Eddie smiles wistfully at them. He feels his eyes starting to water, but he blinks the premature tears away.    
Stan has stopped laughing. He was looking at Ben and Beverly with the same bittersweet expression. He meets Eddie’s gaze, and Eddie smiles knowingly at him. Stanley smiles back, and they stare at each other for a long moment before they both huff out a laugh. Stan shakes his head, his curls bouncing on his forehead. He tucks them behind his ear, looking at Ben and Beverly again, and Eddie knew they were thinking the same thing. He knew they were wishing for the same thing.    
They were wishing for the waiting to be over.    
Which is a horrible thing to wish for, in these circumstances.   
But they couldn’t help it.    
_Eddie_ couldn’t help it.    
Especially with only two of them left.    
The more he thinks about it, he knows, the longer it will be. The more he focuses on scanning the horizon, on listening for a certain voice, the longer the seconds will drone on.    
He knows Stan felt it the worst. He got here before any of them. He got here first. 

Stanley had told him his story when Eddie woke up.   
Eddie remembers. He remembers going down, into that dark, dank place, with four of his friends. He remembers the five of them, fighting. He remembers seeing Bill caught in those lights. He remembers trying to save his friends. He remembers losing his arm and his shoulder aches if he thinks about it too much.   
But his most painful memory, is his very last.   
It’s _Richie_.  
It’s Richie _holding_ him, _speaking_ to him, calling him Eds even though he knew Eddie hated it.   
But the worst part of that memory, the part that _burns_ worse than losing him arm. The part that makes his heart _ache_ more than anything in the entire world. The part that he regrets, more than anything, was what _didn’t_ happen. 

He had tried. He had _tried_ to tell Richie. He _tried_. He tried _so hard to speak. _

And he _was_ going to say it.    
But he was losing _so much blood_.    
He eyes were getting _so heavy_ and he was _so tired_. So tired, after everything that had happened, not just that day, but _everything_. Dealing with his mother for 30 years, dealing with his wife for 9. Remembering everything that happened that summer. The leper, the clown, the werewolf, the sewers. _Everything_.    
He just wanted one more breath. _One_ more. _One more breath_, one pause, to catch up. One more second, and then he would tell Richie what he had wanted to say most of all.    
But death has no patience, and that breath had been his last.    
And then Eddie woke up.   
The sun shining in his eyes, he woke up on this very park bench, disoriented. A second ago he had been in such a dark place. He had been _underground_. But now he was in Bassey Park?    
He sat up, rubbing his eyes, but something felt off, different. He looked down at his hands, shocked to find them much... smaller than he remembered. He frowned, looking down at his legs, which were also considerably smaller. He reached up to touch his face. It was soft, warm, _young_.    
He was 11 again. Almost 12.    
He squinted, the daylight burning his eyes. There were children playing all over the park, running and laughing. It was just as he remembered it when he was a kid.    
“Hey Eddie. How’re you feeling?”    
Eddie flinched, looking around to see Stanley Uris, _12 year old Stanley_, standing next to the bench. He looks just like he had that day 30 years ago, fresh high top Keds, looking like the world’s smallest adult. His hair styled, curls perfect, just like they always had been. A small smile on his face.    
“Yes... no... I don’t know.” Eddie shook his head. He opened his mouth again, but he didn’t know what he wanted to say. Stan sat down next to him. He placed a soft hand on Eddie’s shoulder.    
“It’s ok, Eddie. It’s a little disorienting at first.”    
“Where are we? Well, I know where we are, but, I don’t understand... how did I get here? I was-“   
“In the sewers.” Stan interrupted him. Eddie looked at him. Stan looked pensive, almost worried about what he was about to say. “I know. I felt it. I felt you guys down there. I felt Mike get stabbed. I felt-“ Stan paused, his brows furrowing, and he swallowed thickly. “I felt _you_, Eddie. I felt you _die_.”    
Stan looked back up at him, and Eddie was taken aback. Stan’s eyes were watering. Eddie doesn’t remember ever seeing Stan cry before. He remembers Stan being scared, when he told everyone his story about the Standpipe, about the dead kids. But he hadn’t cried.    
Eddie took his hand, and a tear rolled down Stan’s cheek. Stan smiled sadly at him.    
“I missed you.”    
Eddie felt his eyes well up.   
“I missed you too, Stan the Man.”    
Stan let out a small laugh. He sniffed.    
“Haven’t heard that one in awhile. Eds gets off a good one.”    
Eddie laughed too, tears rolling down his cheeks.    
They sit for awhile, quietly, hands still clasped together. Just like when they were kids. They watch the other kids play in the park. A group of three girls about the age of 7 chase each other, screeching, before two of them bump into each other. The third one laughs while the other two sit, dazed, holding their heads. One of the girls on the ground starts crying. The third stops laughing, quickly kneeling next to her friend. The first one holds her own head for a second, squinting, before scooting closer to her crying friend, putting an arm around her back. The friends cradle the third while she cries. One of them says something, and the second girl stops crying, and they all laugh. 

Eddie watched them, smiling, thinking of all the times that Bill had ignored his own injuries for him, and all the time Richie had said something utterly stupid or ridiculous to make him feel better. 

Eddie squeezed Stan’s hand.   
“Stanley-“ Stan cut him off.  
“I... I was scared.” Stan swallowed thickly. “When Mike called me I... I _couldn’t_... everything came rushing back. _Everything_. _All at once_. The Standpipe. Those... dead kids. The photo album. The werewolf. The _sewers_.” Stan shook his head. “I couldn’t. I _couldn’t_, Eddie. I wasn’t strong enough. I knew I wasn’t strong enough. I wouldn’t have been able to do it again and I-“ Stan swallowed a sob. “I knew that I would drag you guys down. I knew I would be the weakest link. So, being rational and organized, I eliminated a risk, I-“ Stan smiled sadly. “I gave you guys a chance.” Eddie had never seen Stan so vulnerable before, so utterly broken. He reached for Stan’s other hand.

“Stan-“  
“No. It worked, didn’t it? You guys did it. You didn’t need me. I would have dragged you down.”   
“Stanley.” Eddie sobbed.   
“It’s ok, Eddie.” Stanley clasped his other hand over Eddie’s. “You guys did it. You did it. You saved them. It’s over.” Stan kissed his forehead. “_You were really brave, Eddie._” 

Eddie leaned his head on Stan’s shoulder, letting the sobs out. Stan leaned into it, and Eddie felt his shoulders shaking too. He knew that Stan was holding back, and Eddie thought he should have done the same, but he couldn’t.   
He stopped crying, sitting up. He looked at the tear stains on Stan’s shirt, and laughed.  
“I got snot on your shirt.”   
Stan instantly stiffened.   
“You got- you got _snot_ on my-?!” Stan desperately grabbed at his shirt, trying to see the stain. When he finds it, his eyes widen comically. He sputtered for a moment before saying,  
“_Fuck you, Eddie!_”  
Eddie laughed loudly, throwing his head back.   
“What’s so funny?!”   
Eddie laughed even harder at that. He held his stomach, rocking back and forth in the bench, howling. Stan stared at him for a moment, watching Eddie laughing so hard his eyes began to water again. Eddie saw him looking and snorted, and Stan couldn’t hold it together anymore.   
They sat and laughed for what seemed like an eternity. After a while, he noticed that the sun hadn’t moved in the sky.   
“Yeah.” Stan had said. “It’s always day here. Always summer. The summer of ‘58.” They spent a long time on that bench.   
Eddie remembers when Ben showed up.   
He looked so confused, wide eyed and scared. When he finally saw Eddie and Stan, he froze. Eddie thought he was going to stand there and cry, but after a moment, he ran over to them. He crashed into Stan, almost knocking him over, and pulled Eddie in. Ben cried, and they did too. He told them he had woken up by the kissing bridge. He couldn’t decisively tell them what he remembered last. He said he was driving, but then he was home. But, then he was showing the next morning after Beverly left for work. And when he had said that, he froze for a long moment. _Oh god_, Ben whispered, _Bev_. Eddie and Stan had looked at each other for a long moment.   
Thankfully, _but not thankfully_, Beverly showed up next. The three of them had been playing pennies by the bench, just like they were now. They had heard a yell from far away.   
“You guys didn’t think you could play without me, did you?”   
At first, Eddie was going to yell back at her. But then.  
Then he saw Ben running towards her at full speed. Beverly started running too. They collided. Beverly has jumped on him, wrapping her arms and legs on his body. Ben caught her easily, spinning her around, laughing with tears rolling down his face. He seemed so... strong.   
Eddie saw Ben differently, then. He thought Ben wasn’t the fat kid, even when he sort of looked it. Sort of, because he wasn’t as chunky as Eddie remembered as a kid. He was still kinda chubby but, definitely not as much as he had been. Maybe that was a thing about this place. Maybe Ben got the benefit of the doubt.  
And maybe it was the glare of the summer sun in Eddie’s eyes. Maybe it was the light from something distant in the same direction as Ben and Bev. But Eddie swears. _Eddie swears_ he saw a halo around them. He swears he saw a warm glow surrounding them.   
Beverly doesn’t tell them where she woke up. She doesn’t tell them her last memory.   
It’s better that way, Eddie thinks. She doesn’t want to cause them any potential worry, and Eddie understands.   
Mike woke up at the library, too. He woke up in the back room, where he spent many days and nights on break, eating peanut butter and onion sandwiches, just like his mom used to make.   
Eddie hugs him first, holding him incredibly tight. The last time Eddie saw him, he was in the hospital. He had been stabbed by Henry Bowers and Eddie had been _so worried about him_. 

“I’m ok, Eds.” Mike murmured.   
“I know.” Eddie whispered.    
At that moment, Eddie’s eyes had widened. He looked Mike dead in the eyes.   
“You don’t think Henry Bowers is gonna come thundering around the corner anytime soon, do ya?” Eddie looked so panicked that the other four started laughing. Stanley started it, then Beverly, then Ben and Mike. Stan could barely speak through his wheezing.    
“I mean, we’re basically in hell, anyway. Why not?” The rest of them laughed, but Stanley roared until tears filled his eyes. He grabbed his sides, the others’ laughter slowly dying out. He wiped his eyes.    
“That would be the ultimate cosmic joke, now wouldn’t it?” Mike said, putting his arm around Stan. Stan leaned into him, his laughter finally dying down. Beverly leaned onto Stan’s other side. She kissed his cheek.    
“Let’s go get some ice cream frappes, yea?”    
And they did.    
That was... well Eddie doesn’t understand how time works here, since the sun doesn’t set and the weather doesn’t change. And he never feels tired, or hungry.    
They go get ice cream and lollies and frappes, but he’s never _hungry_.    
Now, he watches Ben trace patterns on Beverly’s hand, while she challenges Mike to another game. Mike knows he’ll lose. But he likes seeing Beverly so happy. They all do.    
Ben takes a sip of his coffee frappe, passing it to Beverly. She takes a sip without turning her head, narrowing her eyes playfully, focused on staring Mike down. Eddie chuckles, and takes a sip of his strawberry one. He offers it to Stan, but Stan’s not looking at Ben and Bev anymore. He’s not looking at Mike or Eddie. He’s looking off in the distance, with an unreadable expression. He stands suddenly, his bottom lip quivering. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out and he almost falls forward. Eddie takes a step toward him but he doesn’t react. He just stands, frozen, looking at something in the distance. He rests his hand on Stan’s shoulder, and he tries to follow his line of sight.    
He sucks in a quick breath because he feels all the air leave his lungs.    
“_Bill_.”    
Beverly looks up at Eddie.    
“What?” But, Eddie doesn’t answer her. He doesn’t even hear her. He just stands, next to Stanley, eyes locked on the boy running towards them.    
Eddie feels tears well up in his eyes. Bill is running full speed towards them now. His red hair blowing, his shirt flailing. Bill’s foot makes contact with a puddle in the grass of the park, and water splashes all around him. Bill laughs and wipes some of water off of his chin, still running.    
Eddie can see him clearly now. He’s just how Eddie remembers him, that summer. His red hair. His bright blue eyes. That smile. He remembers how brave Bill had been. And how Eddie would have done anything Bill asked him to.

“Bill!” Eddie hears Beverly yell. Beverly, Ben, and Mike jump up, and Bill is so close to them now. Mike takes the last few steps to meet him and they crash into a strong hug. Beverly wraps around them, sobbing, Eddie can hear it, but she doesn’t shed any tears. Bill kisses Mike’s cheek, and they both laugh. Beverly kisses Bill’s face and then his lips and they laugh, too. Ben joins their hug.    
But, Eddie and Stanley are still frozen in their spot. Bill looks at them.   
“Hey, Eds.”   
Eddie utters out a small cry. He staggers forward Bill catches him in his arms. They may be 12 again, but Bill is still stronger than him. He holds Eddie in his arms and Eddie’s tears start to fall.    
They laugh and cry, and laugh and cry, for what seems like hours. But then Eddie hears a whimper behind him. Bill pulls back, and Eddie wipes his eyes, his nose. He turns to look at Stanley, and his smile falls.   
Stan’s right hand is hovering over his mouth, like he’s holding in a scream, or trying to stop himself from whimpering again. A few stray tears are rolling down his cheeks. His shoulders are shaking violently. Bill takes a cautious step towards him. He opens his mouth to speak, but Stanley beats him to it.   
“I’m sorry!” Stanley wails. “I’m so sorry, Bill. I know I promised and I- I’m so sor-“    
Bill cradles Stan’s face in his hands, wiping Stan’s tears with him thumbs.    
“It’s ok, Stanley. _It’s ok_. I’m not mad. _We’re not mad_.”    
“But I broke our promise. I broke the most _important promise I’ve ever made_. I broke _our_ promise-“ Bill shushed him.    
“_Stanley_.”   
Stan stops crying for a moment. Bill tilts his face, so they’re staring into each other’s eyes.    
“We’re not mad. We forgive you. We _love_ you.”    
That makes Stan cry harder. Bill wraps his arms around him and Stan sobs into his shoulder. His hands scramble against Bill’s back, like he thinks Bill will disappear if he doesn’t hold tight enough.    
Beverly puts a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, squeezing it. He leans his head on her, and Mike comes to his other side. Ben rests his chin on Mike’s other side.    
Eddie thinks they should give Bill and Stan a moment alone. He thinks that they should talk by themselves.   
But Stan and Bill pull apart slowly, Bill’s hand lingering on the side of Stan’s face. Bill turns to them, his trademark smile flashing.   
“Is Beverly still kicking your asses?”   
Mike chuckles and Beverly bats her lashes.    
“Why, Bill? Finally gonna give me some competition?”    
They all laugh.    
Suddenly, Stan gasps. All their eyes snap to him.    
“_Oh!_” He cups his hands over his mouth. “Oh, I almost forgot. Before Eddie got here I-“    
“_Billy!_”    
Bill turns toward the sound instantly, and he takes off running.    
The others watch him, running faster than he ever has in his life. Eddie’s head shot off Beverly’s shoulder, and his eyes widen.    
“_Georgie_.”    
Bill doesn’t have to run far. The source of that sound was only a few yards away. He slides on his knees on the grass, and he wraps Georgie in his arms.    
From afar, they can see that he’s crying, hard. His shoulders are shaking, and Georgie’s little face is tucked into Bill’s shoulder, and he’s smiling.    
The five of them keep playing pennies. They decide to leave Bill alone for a moment.    
He joins them after a while.    
And Bev was right, he does give her a run for her money.    
But she wins anyway.   
_Just like she always did._   
Eddie goes to take a sip of his frappe, but he must have knocked it over when Bill hugged him, because he finds an empty cup on its side. There’s a pink puddle near the bench.    
He’s about to suggest that they go get more.    
Then he hears someone yell in the distance.   
“_Yowza_, look at these losers!”    
Eddie tenses. The hairs on the back of Eddie’s neck stand up. Goosebumps rise all over his arms. His heart stops beating, for the second time in his existence.    
Eddie turns, and chokes back a sob.    
“Ya know, I was expecting a-“    
Richie stops dead in his tracks, his smile falling.   
Eddie’s breaths are short and labored. He struggles to get air into his lungs. He tries, he tries to breathe. He tries to fill his body with oxygen, anything. But he can’t. He can only get small bits of air at a time, like he’s having an asthma attack.    
But he doesn’t have asthma.    
_Not anymore._   
Neither of them can move. Eddie doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to move again. His lungs aren’t working, so his legs probably won’t, either.    
But even from a distance. _Oh_, even from behind dirty bottle cap glasses, Eddie can see Richie’s blue eyes. His eyes are a different blue than Bill’s. A calmer blue, which was ironic, considering Richie was anything but calm.    
Eddie feels Stan’s hand on his shoulder.    
_Go_.    
And he _runs_.    
And Richie _runs_.   
And he thinks he’s never seen Richie run that fast in his life. Not when they were kids. Not twenty odd years later.    
And he knows they’re going to collide and he knows they’re going to collide _hard_.    
But he doesn’t care.    
He can’t care. He can’t think anything, except _Richie_.    
_Richie_, who always let him have some of his ice cream even when he accidentally dropped his own.    
_Richie_, who called him those stupid nicknames that he loved so much because they made him feel so special in Richie’s eyes.    
_Richie_, who held him while he was breathing his last breath.   
_Richie_, who he wanted to tell so many things if only he could get there.    
Eddie wishes his little legs would go faster. He wishes he could speed up time. He wishes he was in Richie’s arms right now. He wishes he could turn back time. He wishes he could have had one more breath, just one more.    
He wishes this moment would never end, this perpetual exhilaration, excitement, of being so close to everything he’s always wanted.    
_He wishes for so many things_.    
But that’s the thing about wishes, they all don’t come true. You’re lucky if any of them come true. So Eddie shuts his brain up and wishes for one thing and one thing only.    
And when he gets there, _everything is bright again. _   
He reaches Richie, and he jumps on him. Richie catches him, holds his back just like he did before. Eddie squeezes around him incredibly tight. He holds on like it’s the end of the world, like it’s the end of existence. Richie holds him there, surrounding him.    
But Richie wasn’t a strong 12 year old kid.   
And they both crash to the ground.    
Richie fell hard onto his back, almost smacking his head against the grass. Eddie lands in his lap, and he sits up. He can see Richie so clearly now. His blue eyes, his black curls, the few freckles that lay under his eyes. His _stupid_ _glasses_.    
He remembers every time Richie broke those glasses. Every time he couldn’t keep his Trashmouth shut and Bowers beat the shit out of him for it.    
He remembers every time Richie made an obscene joke. How he would look at Eddie for approval and the sun would reflect off those glasses.    
_He remembers everything about Richie. _   
And tears start to pour down his face.    
“I’m so sorry, Richie.” Eddie cries. “I _wanted_ to tell you. I wanted to say- I tried. I tried to talk but it was _so_ _hard_ and-“ he blubbers and Richie just smiles at him. He sits up, cradling Eddie’s face is his hands.    
“I _knew_, Eddie.” Eddie sniffs, brows furrowing. “I’ve always known.”    
Tears flow freely down Eddie’s face now. Richie brushes them away with his thumbs, smiling. But Eddie is still crying, sobbing. Richie’s crying too, but he’s laughing underneath it all.    
“Eds.” Eddie sniffs. He looks Richie in the eyes, and the corner of his lips turn up slightly.    
“_Don’t fucking call me that_.”    
Eddie grabs Richie’s face, pulling him in.    
_And they kiss_.    
And Eddie thinks, if he weren’t already dead, he’d be dying right now.    
He thinks that this is the best moment of his existence.   
He feels all the weight of his life, _everything_, lift off of his shoulders.    
And he feels _Richie_.   
Richie’s hands cradling his face. Richie’s glasses bumping against his nose.    
Richie’s soft lips against his own.    
Richie’s soul boring into his.    
He can taste their tears.    
He pulls back, resting his forehead against Richie’s.   
“You lived too long.” And Richie huffs, and sniffs..    
“_I know_.”   
Eddie smiled at him, a few stray tears still escaping his eyes. 

“But you were worth the wait, Richie.”  
Richie kisses his forehead.   
“A whole lifetime’s worth.”   
Eddie runs a hand through Richie’s curls, and Richie leans into it.  
He’s about to kiss Richie again, but he hears someone clear their throat. Richie looks at the rest of them.  
“Well, Miss Marsh, I do believe you owe me some pennies.”   
“Oh really?”  
“Oh, yes. You’ll need to pay in advance for when I kick your ass.”   
Beverly takes off running, and she tumbled down next to them, hugging Richie’s head in her arms. He makes fake choking noises, and Bill lands on the other side of his head, and takes his glasses. Richie manages to push Bev off for a moment, and Stan sits calmly next to them, smiling wryly. Richie’s eyes widen, and tears start flowing down his face again as he pulls Stan in for a tight hug. Stan laughs against him when Richie murmurs something Eddie didn’t quite catch but he did hear the word Jew somewhere in there and he thinks of course that’s what Richie would say.   
And then Richie holds Stan’s face in his hands a plants loud kisses all over it and Stan fake gags, pushing him off.   
Mike and Ben laugh. They land behind Eddie. Eddie turns and looks at them, gesturing towards Richie’s shoes. They share a look, and quickly pull them off and start running.   
Richie pushes Eddie off, yelling at them, and he takes off running.   
The four of them, Eddie, Bill, Bev, and Stanley, are on their backs laughing, and Richie struggles to get his shoes back. He caught up to Ben eventually, who tossed his shoe to Mike. Richie screamed that that was cheating, since Mike was much faster than him. Eddie and Beverly end up wiping tears from their eyes, they can’t stop laughing.   
Later, they make their way to the clubhouse, under the ground.   
They sit, in the dark, light poking through the small holes they made. Eddie sits with Richie on one side, Bill on the other, then Stan and Bev, next to Ben and finally Mike, all in a circle. Bill, Stan, Bev, and Ben are discussing other kids that they remember, kids that were in their classes. Mike and Richie were talking about some girl Mike dated in highschool. Richie was throwing peanuts at Stan every few seconds, trying to get them stuck in his curls. And every time, Stan looked over at him with a deathly glare, and Richie would whistle and pretend like he had no idea what was happening.  
Eddie chuckles, squeezing Richie’s hand, and Stan says something about him being an enabler. Bill leans on Stan, and so does Bev on Stan’s other side. He glares at them, and Richie kisses Eddie’s cheek.   
Eddie sees the light change, for a moment. He sees shadows shift and twist and... he sees _them_. 

He sees them older. Not very much older, maybe late teens. They’re taller, but they still look so _young_. Like the world hasn’t taken its toll on them yet. Like they’re still care free and at ease. Richie’s hair is longer, and Eddie knew that _of course _Richie would have had hippie hair when he was a teenager. His glasses are the same and now they almost fit his face. 

Ben is thinner. A lot thinner and Eddie remembers his story from highschool. His asshole gym teacher. How he ran everywhere like his life depended on it. How, the first time he ran a mile, he puked _then_ passed out. 

Ben’s staring at Beverly again, who’s just as gorgeous as Eddie knew she would be as a teenager. Her hair was shorter than when he last saw her when they came back, only at her shoulders. She looks so alive. She looks so at ease, and Eddie guess it’s because she’s younger than when she was when she met her ex husband.

Mike and Bill look like they’re on sports teams. They’re toned and handsome and Eddie thinks that Stan is seeing what he’s seeing because his eyes linger on Bill’s face for a second too long. But then Richie throws another peanut and Stan stares daggers at him. 

Stan’s hair is exactly the same, and Eddie thinks obviously he would never change it. He’s still got his Keds and fresh jeans and he, too, looks so carefree. 

But then. 

Then he sees them as _adults_.   
They all look the same as they had at the restaurant.   
They’re all so tall that they barely fit in the clubhouse. Bill’s arm is around Stan as he ducks them. His hair is still styled the same, and he looks exactly like Eddie thought he would as an adult. He still has his high top Keds, fresh jeans, a pressed collared shirt and Eddie laughs quietly to himself at the fact that he never changed. Stan had always looked like an adult to them, anyways.   
Bev is still leaning against Stan, and she’s the strong woman he remembers from that day. Ben is his thin, handsome, adult self, and so is Bill. Mike, however, looks different than he remembers. His face is younger, his smile is more at ease. He looks less... tired. He looks _reassured_. Like he’s been thinking that Stan’s and Eddie’s and all of their deaths were his fault. But Eddie can see he knows better now. He can see he’s relieved that his friends aren’t suffering anymore.   
He looks at Richie. _His_ Richie. His handsome, older Richie, who’s still wearing his glasses. _His_ Richie, who, even 60 years later is still cracking the same jokes he used to when he was 12.   
Mike speaks suddenly.   
“I loved you guys, you know. I loved you so much.”   
And Eddie looks around at them all, telling Mike they love him too. And that they always will.   
His friends. His good friends. His real friends. And he feels like...  
He feels like he could beat the devil.   
Yes. He feels like he could beat the devil.   
_I know what that means, now, he thinks. _  
And he truly does.   
He knows what it‘s like to be _strong_.


End file.
